For a long time after that, I didn't get in a relationship again. I thought that what you don't want to be done to you, you shouldn't do to others. If I can't treat others wholeheartedly, how can I ask others to treat me wholeheartedly?
And if the feelings are not wholehearted, I don't want it.
To put it bluntly, I am a person who doesn't like to play games.
Later on, a woman pursued me. Her name was Yan Qi, very beautiful and cheerful. She was very passionate in her pursuit, my heart was somewhat aroused. After all, I had been alone for a long time, moreover, I thought it over those few years, I earnestly thought hard over it and I have properly overcome it. I should be ready to welcome new feelings.
More importantly, Yan Qi was very accommodating to me, and her family conditions were also good. This is good, this time, families are an appropriate match, personalities are a very good match, we should be able to get along smoothly, right?
The result was we didn't.
This time, it only lasted for four months.
After the initial pursuit, the accommodation eventually changed into tolerance when we got into the relationship, her gentleness sometimes came across as weak and an inability to be independent. She required me to report the events of my day to her every day, she was painstakingly meticulous, she needed my attention at all times and it was impossible for me. My work did not allow me to, and my personality also did not allow me to. Furthermore, I am a person who likes to be in control, and sometimes Yan Qi had her own ideas and different opinions, but in order to accommodate she will eventually just go along with mine, but was uncomfortable in her heart, and I didn't know.
Then, Yan Qi, who did not receive the "due attention" and "basic respect", was too disappointed with me and after four months of the relationship, it was finally more than she could bear. She accused me of a series of misdeeds and accused me of not loving her at all and said that we should part ways.
I was dumped again.
This time, I seriously reflected and reviewed myself.
I'd rather not be in a relationship.
Romance is a dangerous thing until it is 100% certain. It doesn't matter if I was dumped for a 4th time, but every time those girls who dumped me were bitterly crying so miserably that they looked like the victim, and I seeing this was also very upset. Leaving Qi Yao aside, I also really felt guilty towards Li Xin and Yan Qi. Although I tried hard, I still wasn't able to give them wholehearted feelings. I thought that I paid for it, but thinking back about it, I didn't feel too sad at the breakups and I didn't miss them too much after they left. Therefore, I simply thought that I paid for it, that's all.
Anyway, I've been single since then.
But there were still a lot of women chasing me, I was cautious and never accepted any of them. Lei Feng said that I was once bitten and so was twice shy, I think I am not. I actually already no longer care about Qi Yao, but I have learned a lot from my three relationships. I know that when two people are trying to get along, there will be problems. I know what my shortcomings are, I just don't want to repeat the same mistakes. I hope I can meet someone who understands this feeling, I only want to be earnest and serious about feelings, that's all.
I really hope that I can fall in love with someone.
On that day, I got off work and met a woman at the entrance of the hospital, long hair, clean and pretty looks, she greeted me. I didn't remember who she was, perhaps some patient that I've treated? Out of courtesy, I greeted her back. She was very nervous, I looked at her some more and didn't think anything of it and so I left.
Later on, I saw the girl again in the inpatient ward. At that time, I was doing a pre-operation information session with a patient in my office, explaining to them the procedure and answering any questions they had, getting the patient and family's signature, and then I looked up and saw her hanging around the door. I recognized her from the time I saw her at the hospital entrance. I thought that maybe she was a family member of a patient, maybe she wanted to consult about her family member's condition? I excused myself for a bit to the patient, who was currently looking over the operation instructions and documents, and then went out to ask who she was and what the problem was. In the end, as soon as I came out, she ran away and ran fast, and suddenly disappeared.
So baffling!
Although she was very strange, I was very busy, so I did not worry about her.
Afterward, I was in the outpatient department and had a long list of patients. I was seeing one patient after another, and later when I called the next name, I paused because I saw the name was Chen Ruo Yu.
I suddenly remembered.
Gao Yu Lan's close friend and buddy, the one who was picking between me and Lei Feng at the same time, and finally, because Lei Feng has a master already, turned to inquire about my relationship status, was called Chen Ruo Yu.
Someone with the same first and last name?
When Chen Ruo Yu came in, I suddenly realized, it turned out to be her!
The girl who nervously greeted me at the hospital entrance and the one who ran away from me in the ward was Chen Ruo Yu. So, her weird and baffling performance was to draw my attention?
She sat down and was nervously twirling her fingers. I pretended not to know who she was and asked where she was having discomfort in a doctor's voice.
After a moment she said chest pain, and then it seemed that she thought this part of the body would be embarrassing, her face showed a combination of awkwardness and embarrassment, so she changed it to shoulder pain.
I came to another realization, she was not sick at all.
I pretended to inquire about her condition seriously. She spoke in a jumbled mess, she was too nervous to speak properly. I really wanted to tell her that if she is not good at lying, then she shouldn't use this trick.
Then I stopped asking, and then simply gave her a checklist of examinations for her to do. She showed a distressed expression about the money. I thought it was a little funny. She was wasting medical resources, shouldn't she pay something for this?
In the end, she gathered up her courage and stammeringly said, "I am Gao Yu Lan's friend."
I know, but I didn't give her a response.
Maybe she thought that I didn't remember who Gao Yu Lan was so she said, "Gao Yu Lan is Yin Ze's friend."
I nodded and said, "Hello." I thought that her self-introduction was awkward.
My cold reaction made her finally sound out the difficulties and retreat to avoid defeat. She turned red and went out with the checklist.
This outpatient appointment was the beginning of my interaction with Chen Ruo Yu.
Later, she came for a doctor's appointment again.
Of course, she was not sick, she was just using this as an excuse to see me.
I was very dissatisfied with this behavior. Does she know that she was wasting the time of the patients who are waiting to see a doctor? Does she know that an on-duty doctor's time should be used for proper business?
This time she was still nervous and said that her stomach was a little uncomfortable. I asked her specifically which area she was uncomfortable. She also gave an answer that was all over the place. I thought that she was so stupid that every time she didn't properly make up her lie, or that she was too nervous and so every time she came, she couldn't remember what she had planned.
I was not happy and asked her where in her stomach was not hurting. She nodded and then shook her head. I was really annoyed with her, not only was she wasting other people's time, but she also lowered the overall IQ of all her fellow women.
"Miss, do you have a stomach?" I asked her. She blinked and then finally understood what I said, and then she turned red and seemed to be a little angry with my teasing.
I also blinked, I just teased, I just wasn't courteous to her, how come?
The result of that? Next time when she came back, it was as if nothing had happened.
She was the most unusual woman that I have met to stubbornly pursue a man like this. She gave me flowers and said that she was grateful to me for treating her. God knows that I have done nothing except give her a list of expensive examinations to do, and every time she had on a distressed expression. She didn't go for the examinations every time, and will then come back after a period of time.
She also sent me durian candy. I don't like sweets, and I hate the taste of durian, and she actually gave me this candy. Even if you want to give a man candy, you shouldn't send him such stinky candy.
I really want to ask her: Who is your man pursuit coach? Who gave you such a bad idea?
She asked me out, saying that she wanted to meet up with Gao Yu Lan and Yin Ze to chat and have a meal and asked if I would like to go together. I refused.
I had no intention of inadvertently giving her any hints, so she wouldn't have even a single strand of hope of a possibility.
Most importantly, I did not see any deep feelings for me in her eyes. She was nervous, but not shy, and her face going crimson every time was more like an awkward reaction.
There is no love, only courage, this was my interpretation of her performance.
Her eyes clearly expressed that I am a man who she knows has good conditions, and so she feels that she should come to pursue.
That's it.
If it wasn't for Yin Ze, I would have earlier told her some words that would have made her feel so ashamed that she wouldn't dare to show her face again. I think I would ask her, where exactly do you feel that we are a good match? I think I can cite a bunch of reasons to refute her. I also want to ask her, if you don't love this man and you catch him, how can you be so sure that you will fall in love with him later? If you can't fall in love the whole time, what do you intend to do?
Of course, I didn't ask anything. I felt that it was not necessary to deepen my interaction with her. She was just like other women who want to pursue me, only a hurrying passerby. There was no need to be too familiar. I rejected her with indifference, and she ought to understand my meaning.
But her speed of understanding is a bit slow. From time to time, she would run to the outpatient ward. One day while I was at the outpatient clinic, I came out to go to the bathroom and saw Chen Ruo Yu bent over on the ground looking under the chairs in the waiting room helping an old lady find something. While she was on the ground and looking from side to side, she comforted, "Don't be anxious, it must be near here, don't worry."
I didn't look much, there were still many patients waiting, so I had to return quickly. However, there were so many people sitting in the waiting room, everyone just simply bowed their heads to look around them. Only Chen Ruo Yu, this sorry figure, got down on her knees to look under the chairs.
When I came back from the bathroom, I heard Chen Ruo Yu happily shouting: "I found it, I found it, I said it wouldn't disappear, it just rolled to the far back. Auntie, look, I found it."
I went back to the office, knowing that Chen Ruo Yu would, in a moment, come in again. This woman, although her face was thick and she pursued a man in a silly way, but her heart was quite good. Should I find a time to talk to her and say it clearly, so that she can give up on me? Tell her not to waste her time, and to quickly go find the next possible target.
But she didn't show up until the end of her appointment. I felt a bit strange, she was obviously here, so why didn't she come to see me? Didn't she come to see me?
From that day on, Chen Ruo Yu disappeared.
Mirai's Comment: Hello, I'm going to do my own little ad segment on here 🙈...I'm writing my own novel, "Circumventing Fate" - it's a transmigration historical romance novel, the female lead is cool-headed, smart and hilarious... She isn't an agent or anything like that, She's recent law school grad - so she's bold but not stupid/reckless...she's a quick thinker and a really good talker (Great at talking/BS-ing her way through things 😅) and she gets roped into royal conflicts to her absolute dismay and annoyance and there's a lot more going on behind the scenes but that's the intro!🤗...It updates almost daily LOL...It's Up there~ Thank you as you check it out!
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