Chapter 4

 Afterwards, I called in the trembling palace maids to help us put on our clothes, and I was still using a dark, cold, threatening tone of voice towards them based on Wu Min Jun's instructions: "What happened earlier?"

The legs of those few palace maids all went limp and they said: "Nothing happened..."

I nodded in satisfaction: "You're dismissed. Oh, go to Princess Yangping's and ask for a set of clothes. The more gorgeous it is, the better. Get a looser one. Then, ask for jewelry, rouge, and things like that."

This was obviously also what Wu Min Jun told me to say. He said that people relied on clothes. Since we can't bring out suitably pretty clothes and jewelry in such a short period of time now, we could only use borrowed ones.

I was a bit puzzled: "I recall that you had several sisters, so why did you pick Princess Yangping specifically?"

Wu Min Jun said: "Yangping is more simple, she won't ask questions."

"Why do I need a looser one?"

"She has a great figure, if it's too tight, your body won't be able to support it." Wu Min Jun's eyes contained a teasing smiling expression.

Frankly speaking, I really admired this trait of Wu Min Jun's. No matter how big the situation that happened, he would instantly make it seem alright. Even though I'm not sure if he really didn't care about it, but... just looking at the expressions he displayed, it really made one feel puzzled.

I nodded: "Having a big chest but no brain has been a scientific law since ancient times."

Wu Min Jun laughed heartily: "There's so much salt in your words."

I glared at him.

Wu Min Jun lazily said: "Having a big chest but no brain is better than having a small chest and no brain..."

I glared at him again.

Wu Min Jun innocently said: "I wasn't talking about you."

I couldn't be bothered to acknowledge him and sat in the palace while waiting for the palace maids to deliver Princess Yangping's clothes. Wu Min Jun was currently wearing his own simple white male garments. At this time, the weather had already become cold. He looked a bit cold as he sat there, and after thinking about it for a while, he withdrew back into his blankets.

Well, he wass taking care of my body, so I didn't have any objections anyway. We just sat in silence like this for a while. Wu Min Jun opened his mouth to talk: "Oh right, I still have to teach you what to do when you go to see my royal father. First, when you approach the dragon bed in my royal father's chambers, your footsteps must be slow. Your body must be trembling, if you can cry, cry out loud. Then, kneel in front of my royal father's bed, and say 'My royal father's illness that hurts him this much, this son is willing to replace him!' —— Remember, you have to say it in a sobbing tone, and earnestly say it. You have to let the audience feel broken-hearted, and make them shed tears when they hear you..."

I interrupted him: "...how fake."

Wu Min Jun shrugged his shoulders with indifference: "If your royal father dies this fast, and if he had always been in such a half-dead state, you would also be like this."

I shook my head: "When my royal father died, I never shed a single tear. I don't feel anything for him, and he doesn't need me to grieve for him."

Wu Min Jun nodded: "That's a special exception. You don't feel anything for your royal father, and he doesn't need you to grieve for him, but I need to. At the moment, my uncle and I are comparing who has shed the most tears."

I was somewhat hesitant: "But I can't cry loudly."

Wu Min Jun thought for a moment and fished out a sack from under his pillow. There were a few needles inside: "If you really can't do it, then stab yourself with this."

"..."

I slowly received the needle: "How about I stab you to death instead?"

"..."

Who knew that before Princess Yangping's clothes and jewelry had arrived, I would hear a person outside yell out something like Princess Shengan. Wu Min Jun's complexion sank, and he explained: "She's my uncle, the King of Xiuyi's daughter. She has always been in love with me..."

Once I heard that, I got it right away...

Originally, I thought it would be alright and that she would stand outside and wait a while. Who would've imagined that this princess would be so unruly. The whole journey here, she was pushing, shoving, and bumping into things. Without the person outside even getting to announce her arrival, she barged in. At this moment, Wu Min Jun and I were face to face with each other, with needles of several lengths in the space between us. Once I heard the noise outside, I quickly put the needles back under the pillow and was simultaneously knocked away by someone.

As such, for the most part, this princess probably saw that Wu Min Jun and I looked pretty close...

She shrieked and took huge, exaggerated steps forward. She grabbed me: "Dear brother, how could you let this woman lie on your bed?!"

Dear brother? Err, weren't you guys cousins...

But she still called him dear brother? Err, too scary...

Wu Min Jun glanced at me, but didn't dare to say anything. He quickly closed his eyes and pretended to be weak and delicate.

That Princess Shengan was still noisily pulling at my sleeve: "Dear brother, tell me what happened!"

I said: "Shengan, let go of my sleeve first..."

Princess Shengan shouted in displeasure: "Dear brother, you've always called me You'er, why did you just call me Shengan?!"

How should I know? Wu Min Jun never told me this before!

I said with a head almost filled with sweat: "Uh, let go of me first..."

"I don't want to!" Princess Shengan was indeed a serious rebel at heart. She stared at me with wide open eyes. Then she tugged at my sleeve, turned around to look at Wu Min Jun, and just happened to meet Wu Min Jun's secretly peeping open eyes. Meeting the murderous look in her eyes, he closed his eyes again in fright... I seriously wanted to whip him. His transformation was really too fast...

"What kind of thing are you? You saw me, but you actually didn't show proper courtesy?" Princess Shengan said as she looked down in arrogance, "Don't think that just because my dear brother doted on you for a night that you're extraordinary. Let me tell you, you're nothing!"

Wu Min Jun didn't make a sound.

I didn't make a sound either.

When Princess Shengan finished speaking, and nobody replied, she probably felt a bit embarrassed and started yelling again: "Hey, what's wrong with you? I want you to greet me! Why are you still on my dear brother's bed?!"

She stopped speaking, and then actually slapped forward.

That's my face!

I quickly pulled back her hand: "You'er, if you have something to say, say it slowly..."

"You-what-er? Didn't you call me Shengan before?!" Princess Shengan turned her head around and got angry at me.

"Err, Shengan," I took her advice and said, "If you have something to say, say it slowly..."

Wu Min Jun suddenly laughed out loud. Baffled, I looked at him and wondered what was so good about him. Immediately afterwards, Princess Shengan fiercely pushed me aside: "Feng Qingyan, you've gone too far!"

Feng, was West Yang Country's royal surname. Looks like Wu Min Jun's birth name was Feng Qingyan. No wonder Princess Shengan kept on calling him dear brother...

**(TL: Qing, in Chinese, was also an endearment between spouses)**

I looked at this Princess Shengan in confusion and didn't know what I did that went too far.

Wu Min Jun had already stifled his laughter, but his body continued to unceasingly shake. It was evident that he was trying his best to endure it. When Princess Shengan saw him like that, she became even angrier and stepped forward with the intention to push him.

Before I could even stop it in time, Princess Shengan had already stepped on a tile. It was the same tile, the same area where Wu Min Jun and I left our bloodstains. We had just tidied it up this morning, so it was still wet. I saw her slip underfoot, and her entire person flew over. Wu Min Jun quickly dodged to the side, and his clothes had also accidentally moved the pillow as well. Thus, Princess Shengan's entire person perfectly fell on the spot where I concealed the needles...

After that, when Wu Min Jun and I no longer heard any sounds of movements from her after Princess Shengan fell over, I looked and saw that both her eyes were tightly closed. Her forehead was brightly lit, filled with several long needles...

So horrifying, so scary, nice skills...

—-

Translator's note: Royals back then mostly were known by their titles. Wu Min Jun's birth name is Feng Qingyan, whereas Princess Changyi's name is Yun Jiao. It's a pain to translate their titles into English because they're so profound and would end up sounding long-winded so I didn't. They usually go by their titles and were referred to by their titles so I didn't want to translate their titles and make them sound too long and awkward.

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